debetesse

denise posting in

I keep forgetting to post about this: we've been troubleshooting the "missing notifications" problem for the past few days. (Well, I say "we", really I mean Mark and Robby; I'm just the amanuensis.) It's been one of those annoying loops of "find a logical explanation for what could be causing the problem, fix that thing, observe that the problem gets better for some people but doesn't go away completely, go back to step one and start again", sigh.

Mark is hauling out the heavy debugging ordinance to try to find the root cause. Once he's done building all the extra logging tools he needs, he'll comment to this entry. After he does, if you find a comment that should have gone to your inbox and sent an email notification but didn't, leave him a link to the comment that should have sent the notification, as long as the comment itself was made after Mark says he's collecting them. (I'd wait and post this after he gets the debug code in but I need to go to sleep and he's not sure how long it will take!)

We're sorry about the hassle! Irregular/sporadic issues like this are really hard to troubleshoot because it's impossible to know if they're fixed or if they're just not happening while you're looking. With luck, this will give us enough information to figure out the root cause for real this time.

chicating

--pediatric
--borderline incomprehensible(I don't have to look for fights!)
I get so angry when I think of all of my time that they've wasted. I think I could have spent a few weeks in Australia if I could have the part of my life back they wasted on meetings, papers and blah, blah. all to keep things going that don't really make me happy.

chicating

getting a refund makes me feel guilty. It's not really my job to keep these writing classes open, and it's not like I promised someone specific that I'd do it with her.(Part of me still wish I'd just said "yes" but the money might come in handier than feeding my dumb brain, anyway.
(Part of me has always been holding out for something more passionate than me being a good little girl with my notebook, also, though, I have to admit that.)

Current Mood: guilty

cupcake_goth

Tuesday was "wake up with a pray for a coma" migraine, as in I tapped out of work the moment I was able to focus my eyes on the Slack app on my phone, then passed out for a few more hours. Then went downstairs, had food and coffee, took meds, and spent the rest of the day drifting in and out of sleep.

Which means, of course, that today is the rebound migraine; it's not overwhelmingly painful, but oh, the brain fog and vertigo. And I have two different sets of release notes that need to be cleaned up by the time I log off tonight, whee.

One good thing was today was migraine Botox day, so that'll take care of one breed of migraines. But that meant I lost time during the work day, and there's those release notes, and everyone who had rush projects last week are off at a customer expo this week which means no one is getting back to me with review notes and UGH. It's only Wednesday, but this week has been forever.

cupcake_goth

- During one of my recent thrifting outings I found a copy of The Velvet Room, a Zilpha Keatley Snyder book I don't remember! With a fantastic pink cover, no less.

- Remember me mentioning that the neurosurgeon back specialist referred me to the targeted physio side of his team? I hadn't heard from them by last Friday, so I called, went through the labyrinth of call options, and finally spoke with someone who could schedule an appointment. The earliest they could find was June 11th. I'm unhappy, but the Stroppy One is LIVID. We started this process in Nov./Dec., and I've gotten some suggestions but no real help. I'm going to see if I can speak to someone about what will be discussed at the June 11 appointment and if we can make sure I get the targeted injections in my hip at that appointment, because ...

- We're going to the UK at the beginning of July. This means a lot of walking, and we want to make sure that I'm not in pain the entire trip. I'm still going to bring a fuckton of muscle relaxers with me.

- Related to the trip: During our last visit, Thea mentioned her mobility scooter and how it's made all the difference for her being able to do things. This prompted the Stroppy One to very gently bring the up the possibility of me renting one for the length of time we'll be spending in Edinburgh. I said that I understood that it could help me and we should look into it; I sat there for 10-ish minutes getting more and more upset, then burst into tears and said I didn't want to be that fat American on a disability scooter with no obvious disability. The Stroppy One said he understood and that he had been expecting me to have a freakout over that exact thing. (!!!) So that's a thing we need to discuss more, and hopefully I won't have a complete meltdown.

"But Jilli, you go out walking around, what makes you think you wouldn't be able to while on vacation?" This is true, but I generally don't do that every day, and when I do go out and Do Things, I usually end up taking muscle relaxers and pain meds when I get home AND spend the following day resting. So yeah, this is a big concern and the Brain Raccoons are determined to make me miserable about it. Ugh.

cupcake_goth

Everything is making me tired and meh and/or anxious. Work, concerns about Erzabet, my stupid mortal shell, the ongoing dumpster fire of the world right now ... all of it.

- Erzabet did seem better once she had the steroids, so we are getting a new version of her nightly ear cream that will be steroids + the treatment for the hyperthyroid issue. According to the vet, she's "perfect on paper", so maybe the issue with her intestines was general inflammation. Don't take after me, Erzabet!

- I say that because I have learned that garlic is REALLY not my friend, and causes a huge amount of inflammation. Between that and tomatoes causing the same thing, I may no longer be able to indulge in Mexican or Italian food. I am full of woe.

- I had the appointment with the neurologist back surgery specialist, and he was very helpful. The upshot is right now there isn't anything on the images that shows I'd be a good candidate for back surgery. So the sibling team to his is going to reach out to me so I can start targeted physiotherapy with them for my right hip, and have injections of a cocktail of steroids, lidocaine, and painkillers. If those things don't help, they'll discuss it with the neurologist back surgery specialist to figure out what the next steps might be.

- Work is ... yeah. There are several things I'm stuck on because I'm waiting on other people or automated processes. I wouldn't be worried about this if it wasn't for the woman who's pinch-hitting for my boss (who is out for family issues) really likes continuous updates on all projects. The pinch-hitting manager was also the manager for two of the writers who were let go, so of course my anxiety has latched onto that.

- I'm having a difficult time to work up the energy to do any witchcraft-related work. I want to, but the brain fog and apathy have been crushing. I also want to start keeping a paper and pen journal; it's something my therapist has strongly recommended and I want to do it, but brain fog and apathy.

Wow, I'm whiny. I keep fantasizing about being medically ordered to take a week at the seaside like Victorian invalid.

chicating

But if anybody wants me to believe that we people with cerebral palsy just, sort of, nicked our happiness lobes on the way out(She didn't say that, exactly, but dumber people fucking have) then I want to see the control group full of disabled people who get what they need and want without logistical juggling and feeling like an outsider, well, everywhere. Then maybe I can be all "Stupid brain chemistry, making me unhappy when I have all this." Sure,then, maybe. Mostly, I think that is much more convenient for abled people to think about than how different we're not.
But I don't see that, though we are not monolithic.
Mostly? It's the ableism, stupid.
I mean, Freud was weird, but he wasn't always wrong about EVERYTHING.
Love and work are both kind of kept from us, right?

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Reading

The case of the missing notifications

State webinar was...

I don't know why...

(no subject)

I can't think of an appropriate bandom lyric

(no subject)

I know I'm not a scientist...

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April 2023

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