Relationship Advice by Proxy

[debetesse]

Ok, hivemind, I need you. My little brother (HS Sophomore) is dating a Mormon (he, himself is toward the Left end of UCC. Basically, last door on the Left of Christianity). He really likes her, but is getting irritated with her habit of trying to convert him (she does not realize or does not acknowledge that she is doing so).

I suggested arguing theology with her. He cited her use of my fav. line ever: "pray on it and it will be revealed to you". Oy.

I suggested trying to convert her back (to Wicca, if I'm being snarky), so that it's forced to consciousness. He said that was mean.

I pointed out my lack of boyfriend, and that perhaps I should ask the 'istas. He agreed, so I'm asking.

Please remember that she's young and he actually wants to continue this relationship (although he has expressed reservations in the past wrt LDS's stance on homosexuality. Go Team Tolerance). Any ideas?

Comments

[dxmachina.livejournal.com]

I like the whole "convert her to Wicca" idea, although then he runs the risk of her running off with some cute wannablessedbe.

I'm also the wrong person to be asking for relationship advice, so I'll just stand quietly over in the corner, shall I?

[debetesse.livejournal.com]

Please, this is Southern Indiana. There are maybe 12 in her age range who are male (switching teams is a whole other level of AU). And that's in the entire 812 area code.

Welcome to the corner.

[cindywrites.livejournal.com]

This is tough. When she starts, maybe he could tell her that her understanding of God/Jesus is not his, and that even though a lot of the terms are the same, they carry different meanings for him than they do for her. They're very young, so part of me thinks getting into it too heavily isn't going to do anything to them that time won't do anyhow, just faster.

I don't know. I hope it goes well for him.

[debetesse.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I think his book-swap is his way of doing that, although doing it explicitly might be good, too.

Part of it is that they're part of the same social group (about 5 kids, some of whom go to school together, some of whom are in the youth orchestra together, but those that aren't go to the concerts and that kind of thing). 2 of the others broke up just recently, which is putting a little of a strain on the group (not that I think he wants to break up anyway, just complicates it).

[trudybooth.livejournal.com]

Tell him he'll never touch her boob unless he becomes a Mormon? And then only once he's married?

No, don't go with that.

Maybe a standard answer of "let's not talk about religion right now" whenever she brings it up? And then maybe she'll stop?

[beathen.livejournal.com]

I don't know my advice is qualified at all, but I do know that if he doesn't point out to her what's frustrating him, it will nag at him continually and will definately cause a strain in their relationship. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away.

Yeah, I know this "solution" is easier said than done, but I've also heard that communication is the key to a good relationship; he needs to tell her and work out a compromise somehow.

[dgriswold.livejournal.com]

The memories hurt me. Ouch.

I... don't have much advice for this situation. He definitely needs to get it out there, but whether to do it comedically or seriously or in some other fashion depends a lot on both her and their relationship.

Which is useless. But I sympathize, at least! Religion, relationships, and me have a long history.

[dgriswold.livejournal.com]

Also, I love that you had that icon. So perfect for the post!